Enter the Spork
Recipies
Your Home Recipies
Coming Soon: Super Colossal ‘Space-Ship’ McMooChicka-Fish-o-Pede
Dec 4th
Super Colossal ‘Space-Ship’ McMooChicka-Fish-o-Pede ™ ( also known as the McOMFG )
— a cow, double-humping a fish, screwing a chicken. At both ends.
with fries.
Make this spot —–> [x]
Praise to Cara Hanson for an insane pie
Nov 15th
Well WELL WELL! It seems we have a pie maker on our hands. Cara Hanson (my co-workers wife) has been secretly weaponizing her culinary skills in such a way that, Gregg (my co-worker) often sheds a tear when speaking of such fine food. The first thing you will notice about Cara’a blog are the PHOTOS. You can almost taste the food right on your computer screen! (At home, please do not lick your computer screen. Remember, we are professionals)
That is most inconvenient for those of you who dislike the taste of LCD computer screens.
I am hoping a photo of the recently talked about Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup is posted soon because, quite frankly, I am getting sick of hearing about how good it was!
I WANT MY PHOTOS! 
Cara’s Blog:
http://vieniavolare.blogspot.com/
BB-QXX Chicken and Pork (by “derranged” Derek)
Jun 9th
BB-QXX Chicken and Pork
1c lite soy sauce
1c sugar (can do mixture of light brown and regular sugar)
1c chicken broth or water
½c pineapple juice or 8oz. can of pineapple chunks (w/ juice)
¼c vegetable oil
2 TBSP honey
1 tsp of garlic powder and/or some minced garlic to taste
Marinate chicken wings, drumsticks, thighs or pork chops over night.
Grill pork over direct heat (to 150° ~6 minutes per side)
Any bone-in chicken over indirect heat (to 185° ~30-45m)
Skewer and grill the pineapple.
Or bake chicken wings @ 350° for 1½ hours.
 |
 |
?
Soft Wheat Everything Pretzels
Mar 13th
Yeah. I know. Insane. You can thank me later if you live through the mustard storm.
- 4 cups of whole wheat white flour
- 2 cups warm water
- 1/2 tsp yeast
- 4 tbsp brown sugar
- 2 tsp salt
- 2 tsp baking powder
So, I will leave to up to you on how to make the dough. HA! The idea though, is to let the pretzels rise for 45 minutes after you twist them. I dunked mine into a warm baking soda bath, THEN into wheat flower for the bottom (to get into the baking stone, with a pizza peel), and then had another bowl with the *everything mixture* (I made that with my own mix of spices and magic whatever). If you can make the Everything mixture, DO IT. You can make it basic, then add your attitude – like I did (red pepper flakes). So, these are extra SICK!
I baked mine on a baking stone at 450F for8-10 minutes, or whenever they look awesome and smell awesome’er.
Chocolate peanutBUTTER Cracker Jack RIDICULOUS
Oct 25th
Yeah, so this needs to happen almost immediately AGAIN.
I remember the first time I came out of consciousness after creating this insane masterpiece.
It was as if some alien being from a parallel planet down the street infiltrated my RECENTLY CURRENT missing element for food-things that include peanut butter.
AND SO.. I give you this WORLD. Use Toll-House pre-made matter, or what ever you want, di do not care. BUT YOU will surely have a foolish smile on your face when you are transported to another transmental state (new word here people) after smunching (another new word) the familiar YET not CURRENTLY together tasty-buddy stuff in the new cookie/bar.
Bread Integration: Pita and Everything Bagel
Aug 16th
I love to bake hybrid-bread. As you can see, this is the follow up to Pretzel-Nann!
Basically, a high protein/fiber wheat bread pita, with Everything Bagel seasoning (I make especially for myself) and baked on a HOT stone (bakingstone.com). Awesome flavor, and very hearty and healthy. I think!
Lobster FEAR Stew!
Aug 11th
Today is a day of days. I was interviewing a Master Lobstereer, and encountered some fantastical story about super heroes, ninja battles and of course, Lobster Stew. Below is a direct quote from Master Lobstereer, GRONSON:
|
I went to the beach and had a run in with aquaman. That bastard tried to tale my sandwich so I cuckolded him and then forced him to boil the ocean with his rage. After I collected his tears I grabbed a lobster from the steamy ocean, mixed them together and made the lobster-fear stew. Recipe: Put everything together in the pot and apply heat for a while. Dump everything into the bowl and eat with fork, if desired. |
So, as you can see, it was quite the ordeal. In some instances, I believe this man was touched by the God Chicken of the Sea on the efforts to sustain hunger pains. We bow at this excellence.
However! The real news here is an excellent Lobster FEAR Stew that was created by these fine crustacean underwater creatures. Although I cannot share the recipe with you, for obvious trade secret reasons, please gaze at the photo and become jealous.
Welcome to the flavor suck black hole – beverage edition
Aug 8th
Welcome to another installment of the title up there. (wtf). Have you ever just did not know what you wanted to drink? Me either. The miracle of this event came to be on Augsto of the Sunday, 8th day of the month. Prior to any bathroom shenanigans.
I came, I had a thought, and here it it. The worlds (my world) first… (wait for it…)
Iced Coffee Root Beer Float!
I bet you wish you were that straw, huh? Getting all that roasty coffee icy root beer flavor flowing through your intestines? Yeah. Mmmm.
I miss animals.
Jul 23rd
Boy do I. Recently, I changed my eating habits. Don’t ask. I’ll tell you: I don’t want do have a heart attack due to high cholestoral. So, I changed nearly everything. No red meat, nothing fried and no cheese(!). Well, if the cheese adds something, like salt, that’s fine. I can use less table salt (I don’t use much as it is), and still add flavor.
Anyway, this post is inspired by the link below.
Grubdudes: THE BOOK.
Dec 20th
Yeah, OK – I’m no chef. Hardly a cook. But I do have an appetite and I know what I like to eat – and I’m here to make you hungry.
That is my philosophy going into this new cookbook I am writing. It JUST may CHANGE the way you look at, cook and EAT food. I know, that’s a lot to say in one sentence, but I have been practicing with a writing instructor. ~
